Corruption and le Cité

Well the weekend was as comfortable and as lovely as promised. The additional family members arrived and we caught up, ate home-made tiramisu and drank the local wine.

Le Cité

On Sunday we took a trip to the Medieval City of Cacassonne to soak up the exuberant sunshine and see some sights.

My Father, Mother, Grandmother and Mikey admiring buildings

There's little to tell - we climbed up some ramparts, took photos and ate baguettes filled with goat's cheese and honey, a combination I heartily recommend.

Camping Car News

Today we said goodbye to my grandmother and her partner as they made their way back home further East and waited in for news from the RAC. I'm afraid the news turned out to be not just frustrating but dull... the mechanics have "found another problem" and have to wait for the electrician to return on Thursday to tell them what it is and, hopefully, fix it.

So I won't be seeing the poor old campervan before I fly to Japan after all... he'll stay in his spot in mid France filled with my socks and T-shirts until some time in April. And I may have to buy some cheap clothes to wear while I'm away, if I am to have any hope of making friends with new people.

Corruption

Today became moderately more exciting when my laptop was suddenly infested with Ransomware. If you're not familiar with this nasty piece of work, it's a screen that replaces your normal desktop on Windows and declares "You've been caught viewing child pornography! Send us 100 EUROs now!":

We eventually killed it using some free software called Malwarebytes and I've become an ultra computer geek carefully checking my updates and anti-viruses. So that's done.

My next post may well come to you from Tokyo on Thursday. Even though I'm landing on Friday. Time travel, woo-hoo-hoo!

Leaving it to the Last Second

Like all the most entertaining superheros and bomb disposal experts, the Citroen garage in France are running their repairs right to the wire!

Here's the situation:

• I am currently in Carcassonne, in the South West of France.
• My campervan is in Limoges, pretty much dead centre of France.
• On Wednesday, I am catching a flight from Carcassonne to Japan for a month.

The campervan is being repaired and may be ready some time on Monday. If that happens, I need to get a train all the way back up there (roughly 7 hours), collect the bus and drive all the way back down to Carcassonne (roughly 6 hours) before my flight to Japan.

If this timescale fails, we're looking at a month of storage charges at the garage while my poor old bus gathers dust in a corner, and I end up in Japan with only two pairs of socks.

So it's a weekend of relaxing - I'm still staying with my parents and my grandmother and partner are coming to join us, which I'm very much looking forward to. Leave the stress 'til Monday!

See you then...

The Top Five Regrets of the Dying

I'm writing to you from Carcassonne in the South of France, where I've been reunited with my parents and am being thoroughly spoiled. It was a very uneventful journey down here - the trains were comfortable and on time - so I won't bore you with the details of it. I'm still waiting to hear when my campervan will be repaired and how I can choose to get it down here with me.

In the meantime, I recently read this article in the Guardian provided by an Australian nurse who'd worked in palliative care and recorded the final epiphanies of people in their last stages of life. It's an interesting read.

It struck me immediately how strongly these resonate with everything I'm trying to avoid now and, if anything, it makes me wish I'd started this adventure sooner in life. That big old world out there has a habit of suppressing and controlling people - even when they have the political freedom to choose their own lifestyle - by creating a comfortable, reliable and safe routine to follow. We are so civilised and organised in the UK and the Western world that we don't even see the option to break free. How many people have told me "I'm so jealous" when I tell them about this trip? Jealous of what exactly? Making a different choice? Surely if you want to do something like this, you simply set off and do it. The campervan is pretty irrelevant - hitch a ride or sleep on the night bus, or just take a tent and hike your way somewhere. And if you choose not to do that, you're clearly happier at home and have nothing to be jealous of.

Anyway, number 4 in the article stood out a bit. I do have such wonderful friends - they pop up all the time, everywhere I go. And I just hope that they all know, whether I'm in touch or not, that I love and appreciate them. Whether we meet again or not, those special bonds are with us to the end!

A Glimpse into the Future

So yesteray I finally made it to Futuroscope, the theme park that promises to dazzle and amaze with its forward-thinking technological showcasing.

As we traverse the roundabout leading up to to the Parc, an overhead banner announces "La Porte du Futur" (the door to the future). And you see its seemingly gravity-defying architecture stalking up from the horizon like something from a Terry Gilliam film. We arrived at the main entrance to find no queues and I was in.



The leaning castle of Oz (actually a KINEMAX cinema)


My introduction to the future began by head-butting a T-Rex.

This was a cinema gone nuts - a silver 9,700 square foot hemispherical dome as the screen and two of the world's most powerful projectors combined with liquid crystal glasses to create a ridiculously immersive 3D experience. In a 'normal' 3D cinema you find yourself looking for the effect, asking yourself  'is this bit 3D? Oh yeah, so it is'. In the dome, the images really do fill every space between the screen and your eyeballs - things don't just pop out of the screen, they're all around you. The film included fantastic recreations of dinosaurs except that these beasts were actually there, in front of you, next to you, attempting to snap at your nose (luckily in this viewing we all escaped with our noses intact). I'm only sad that there's no photograph or image that I could possibly paste here to help demonstrate that sensation.

Moving on... I remembered as a child getting very excited about 'the wedge of cheese with a ball in it' so I dashed straight over there to see what I could see. It was closed. So that's that.



That elusive wedge of cheese

They had 'dynamic' and '4D' cinemas whereby you were strapped into a rollercoaster seat and hurled about in time to the film in front... the closest I've ever felt to being in Red Dwarf's Total Immersion Game. And an Augmented Reality ride allowed you to approach a seeminly empty backdrop, then peer through pair of goggles to see and interact with wild animals.

In another venue there were two full-sized cinema screens, on above the other, with the auditorium built between them. When the film began, the floor beneath your seat became a transparent window. I'm pretty sure the film they were playing hasn't changed in 19 years but it's still fun to feel like you're floating over the sea.

My feet, resting on a window to a second cinema screen

The future is filled with dinosaurs, sea monsters, outer space and films set in the 1930's. Apparently. Or they could just add some cowboys and Indians and rename it 'Cool-Stuff-o-Scope'.

Attendre, Attendre, Attendre

Waiting for the bus

So, having spent so long sheltering at a bus stop in Saint-Savin yesterday, today I marched confidently to one in Poitiers with a fist full of Euro cents ready to catch the Ligne 1 to Futuroscope. I had checked the bus routes carefully, found the appropriate bus stop on Google Streetview and confirmed the exact timetable on the operator's website. To allay any concerns I might have still had, the bus shelter was packed with locals also expectantly waiting for the 9:07.

So by 9:32, we were starting to get a bit tetchy. A breathless woman bustled past spouting some very quick French that prompted my peers to dig out their mobile phones. Some began to slowly drift off, some jumped on the Ligne 2B that came soon after. I decided to sit it out.

A young girl approached the bus stop and sat next to me. We did the only thing you can do in this situation in polite society: avoided all eye contact with one another and stared intently at our phones (even though mine is pretty much defunct outside of WiFi hotspots).

After 10 minutes or so the girl asked me whether I was waiting for the Ligne 1 and I answered that yes I was, and that I had been for over an hour, and that I suspected there was a problem. The girl then got onto the bus operator's website via her smart phone and found some news:

Apparently there had been an 'accident' the night before, which meant all Ligne 1 buses were cancelled for the whole day. I later found out that the 'accident' had been a bus driver's suicide. Which is undoubtedly tragic and deserves some human respect. I'd still like to see anyone cancel an entire bus route in London and get away with it.

Another town, another bus stop

Anyway, since that's the only bus to go to Futuroscope, I was forced to spend another 20 Euros of unplanned budget on a taxi. But I got there in the end and I'll tell you all about it on another post.

Waiting for Repairs

Of course the only reason I'm here in the first place is that my poor old campervan is still sitting in a Citroen garage near Limoges. In yesterday's episode we learned that the garage were ordering a replacement ignition switch.

Well today we learned that by 'ordering' they in fact meant 'requesting from a supplier'. The supplier does not stock VW campervan ignition switches as standard, so after the request is made they have to wait for it to become available. Then, 48 hours after it becomes available, the Citroen mechanics have it in their grubby little paws and may or may not proceed to instal it. I asked whether I could assist in the search for a part, having a good number of contacts in the VW world, but was told that I wouldn't be allowed to supply a part unless Citroen failed. Which seems a bit bonkers to me - what if I actually had the spare part with me, would they still not be allowed to use it?

Anyway, the theme is clear: there's a fair wait yet.

Thankfully, now that we know there's waiting ahead, the RAC have agreed to put me on a train to the South of France so I can at least get there in time to catch my flight back to the UK (and on to Japan). I don't have a lot of 'stuff' with me, having only packed a weekend bag out of the campervan, but that's a problem easily resolved when you're staying with family!

So tonight is all about waiting for tomorrow, then tomorrow will be all about boarding trains and waiting for them to arrive. Good job I've got an iPod... now let's just wait for it to sync...

A Hobo Abroad

The thing about being homeless is no-one wants to talk to you. They stare a bit and they acknowledge you in their facial expressions, but those wrinkled brows are less a sign of concern for your welfare, more of disgust at having a smelly old bag lady in their town.

"Push off, this is my bus stop, I was 'ere first. G'ron."

So this was the day I had to check out of my hotel in Saint-Savin and wait. And wait. And wait.



I had my suitcase full of dirty clothes, my handbag full of receipts and, thankfully, a warm winter coat.

So I started on a stone bench in the car park. Then it got cold so I moved to a wooden bench a little further out where there was more sun. Then it got windy so I did a bit of dancing on the spot and walking round and round my suitcase. Then it rained a bit so I dragged my bags up the hill to the Intermarche. Which was closed but at least had a porch to shelter under.

At 3pm the Intermarche opened so I bought some food and took it back down the hill to the wooden bench. A street cleaner came past. Then it really started raining so I transfered to a bus shelter.

(If you're having fun reading this, just imagine living the thrills!)

Finally the telephone rang and I was told that my campervan needs a new ignition switch. "Well I've known that since Friday", I replied, "aren't we waiting for it to arrive?". No, apparently we were waiting to be 100% sure before making suchg a serious financial investment (a whole 15 Euros, dontcha know), so the garage was ordering it today.



The RAC man then said he was going to book me back into the hotel I'd been hanging around outside of all day. I wasn't keen. So now they've sent me up to a new hotel in Poitiers which has a bed and heating and WiFi and above all close proximity to Futuroscope! Something to do, woohoo!

I will not be a hobo again. Well at least not 'til Wednesday.

A Free Weekend in Mid France

Well, following on from the campervan's meltdown, I've been staying in a sweet little hotel in the tiny town of Saint-Savin. It was chosen by my insurance company, presumably a decision made by cost, so this weekend has really been about making the most of my time here.

L'Hotel de France

It's lovely but I'm so, so uncomfortable here! I'm the only guest out of 30-odd rooms, since holiday season has not yet begun and there are no special events happening in the area. So it's kind of like having my own private staff without paying them. And that's just embarassing. I have to go down for breakfast at a previously-agreed time, sneak up and down the stairs for fear of bumping into one of them, and hide in my room with the 'do not disturb' sign on my door to keep them from cleaning what is already a perfectly clean room. I'm sitting here now listening to someone clomping up and down stairs with a hoover, my bum cheeks tense with anticipation!

Yes I do realise how bizarre it sounds to feel uncomfortable in the face of luxury, but what can I say? I really am a girl who's happiest in the back of a van. I don't even need a full-sized bed in the back of the van, I'm quite snug curled up on top of the engine bay. I can eat dry biscuits and occasionally cook myself up some noodles and sauce, and I can wash myself with a microfibre flannel in the sink. That's not just 'coping', that's what I want to do!

Ah well, it's not all bad. The shower is stunningly good and I have taken full advantage of the hotel WiFi, reloading the iPod and catching up on my blogs. Perhaps these 'breaks' are necessary.

Saint-Savin

It's everything you'd expect from a small French town. It has a patisserie, a pharmacy, a restaurant / bar and a post office. It has a train line but no station, and a bus stop which is utilised by three buses a day (except Sundays bien sur). The Intermarche is a 500m walk up the road and then you're into open countryside.

However it does also feature a quite extraordinary Abbaye which I explored:


It's in the process of being restored back to its medeival glory, including huge murals painted al fresco on the walls and ceilings.

Futuroscope

I'm only 40-odd miles from Futuroscope, which I visited with my family as a child and of which I have very fond memories. My Grandfather lived in mid France at the time, so my sister and I were taken to this theme park with very little idea of what it was about. In fact we loved it, but my appreciation has grown more and more as I've looked back on those memories with an adult's perspective. We really did experience cinematic technologies that no-one else had access to. So many times in more recent years I've heard in the media of a 'new technology' that I had in fact already seen showcased in Futuroscope, whether it's a particular type of advanced 3D imaging or extra sensory experience (puffs of air and a moving / jolting cinema seat).

So why haven't I gone back this weekend? Well, it may be only 40 miles away but sadly that's about 3 hours in one direction and 15 hours back to the hotel again by public transport. It would be almost as quick on average to walk there. So at least my memories will be preserved and I'll have no illusions shattered. Not to mention a few pennies saved...

Time to go?

Well today I leave the hotel to again visit my campervan in its hospital - fingers crossed the news will be good and I can get back on my merry way. Watch this space!